Sunday, October 29, 2006

Don't Shut Fathers Out

Yesterday, Saturday, was my last day for the Module on Family Involvement under Dr. Christine Chen. She handed us an article from Early Childhood Education Journal titled Don't Shut Fathers Out by Eugenia Hepworth Berger. As Dr Chen discussed the article, the three prominent fathers I know came to my mind: my own father, my husband, and my SIL. Their faces flashed on my mind what more when Dr. Chen quoted, “Let fathers enjoy what they’re doing best.” And yeah, why would we not allow fathers to do their best especially for the family, the children in particular?

I remember my own father (Bless his soul!) Oh, I was not privileged to be close to him. For all my life how I ached that he’d show me the love and care I wanted to feel. I learnt in the process the fact that he did love me in his own way.

I could not comprehend then why a former municipal mayor would opt to stay at home and just cook for his wife and younger children when he can do something more. As I mature, I learnt to appreciate him. And Dr Chen just reminded me how wonderful my father was. For how many fathers around during those times, especially a highest official in his own town, would opt to be a house husband and tend to his children?

My own husband is also a great father, I can say. During our early years, whenever around, he would do household chores and help with feeding and bathing our kids. He also tutored our kids. Now that my children are grown ups, he still help in household chores. Sometimes, I wonder why a man like him, a manager in his own right, would still cook or clean the house. How lucky I am.

My son-in-law is also the same. After his work, he would also help my daughter in cleaning the house and in taking care of their 3 kids. What was so heartwarming when I stayed with them for a while was that it was my SIL who checked every hour the twin’s and the baby’s diapers and saw to it that diapers are changed every 2 to 3 hours.

I can say that I am what I am now for having a father like my own father. My daughters grew up to be good persons and successful professionals because of my husband’s personal touch. I am sure my three grand kids will grow up to be good persons too because they have the privelege to have a nurturing father. In addition, I am sure that my father enjoyed what he did, the same as my husband and SIL are also enjoying what they are doing up to now.

Therefore, as an educator of young children, I must encourage fathers to get involved with their own children so they will recognize their importance. I have to provide opportunities for fathers to be involved with their children’s activities. I can even provide fathers with information on child development. It is now a well known fact that fathers who are positively involved with their children, enhance their children's emotional and intellectual skills to the fullest. Just look at me, (ahem!) and look at my daughters (more ahem!!) Kidding aside, we must not shut fathers out. They have unique contribution to young children's development in all aspects. I guarrantee you that!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Happy Birthday Double

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Thursday, October 19, 2006


My husband forwarded an email he received from his colleague. I find it relevant, what with me being too busy at work and with my course including the requirements that go with it. Please read and pray.


Pray when you don't feel like praying

Pray when you're weary & worn...
Pray when the burden grows lighter
Pray when it cannot be borne ~
Pray when things seem impossible

Pray 'til the answer breaks through...
Pray if it seems an eternity since God moved His hand for you ~
Pray when the sun is shining

Pray when the storms appear...
Pray when the Lord seems distant
Pray when He seems very near ~
Pray in the congregation

Pray in your closet there...
Pray with a heart of thanksgiving
Pray when there seems no prayer ~
Pray in and out of season

Pray on your knees or stand...
Pray when you're heavy~hearted
Pray when you're feeling grand ~
PRAY for God promised to answer

PRAY 'til the answer He sends...

By Mary Carter Mizrany November 7, 2005 This writing may be used in its entirety, with credits in tact, for non-profit ministering purposes.

Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah. But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. ( Psalm 4:1-3 )

Here's my thought for the day.
When you don't know what to do, praying is the answer.

I agree with my husband's colleague. Prayer is the answer.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Into the Silent land

I spent most of my afternoon yesterday in reading the book I borrowed from the library. My husband asked me if I was reading it in relation to my work and study or for just the pleasure of reading. Up to now he could not comprehend yet why the woman he married finds pleasure in reading fiction books. For him TV documentaries are more pleasing to his senses.

Before going to sleep on our bed, I announced to him that I already finished reading that book titled Into the Silent Land by Paul Broks, a Senior Clinical Lecturer and Honorary Consultant in Neuropsychology. I explained to him that it is not actually a fiction book but real stories of the author’s patients and his experiences as a doctor. “Neuropsychology? What has it got to do with an engineer like me?” he asked. I answered that it has a lot to do with anybody. I went on lengths to explain and I quoted from the book:

neuropsychology: noun(mass noun) the study of the relationship between behaviour, emotion and cognition on the one hand, and brain function on the other.

mind noun 1 the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought….

brain noun1 an organ of soft nervous tissue contained in the skull of vertebrates, functioning in the coordinating centre of sensation and intellectual and nervous activity….

self noun (pl selves) a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection….

To convinced him more about my point I told him one story in the book that of Robert who was a loving husband, a good father with satisfactory job but one day in the foothills of middle age, he took a long look at himself and decided that life was running out and he was going nowhere and so there must be a change. Robert left his family in an impulse following several episodes of uncharacteristically eccentric behaviour. He had seizures and was taken to hospital, had head scans and a large mass in the orbitofrontal region of the brain was found. He had tumour in his frontal lobes that recalibrated his personality.
“A meningioma like Robert’s can take years to develop, eventually becoming a stable feature of the intracranial landsape. The brain can up to a point, accommodate a slow growing mass without betraying major clinical signs or symptoms. It depends on the rate of growth and where it’s located. Some people grow old and die never knowing that for half their life or more they were harbouring a benign brain tumour .Perhaps they never know who they might have been.” That is why Robert was so depressed that he transformed from Jekyll to Hyde. After three attempts, he finally succeeded in killing himself.

My husband then answered, “Mommy, I also learnt about depression. I watched the documentary on TV.” He explained that with depression, the good bacteria in our body system would be overpowered by the bad bacteria and resulted in many diseases. So the best thing he said is to be always positive. Very easy, he added.

Wahhh, why could my husband not understand that there are behaviours that are unconsciously manifested and are or caused by damage to the frontal lobes of the brain?
And that depression and eccentric behaviour are a few of the manifestations? My point is we should always understand why people behave in such a way because we really don’t know the reason or even medical reason behind the behaviour manifestation.

But I am glad my husband mentioned about thinking positive. Yes we should think positive. For according to Paul Broks as he ended his book “
it’s just the one lifetime. Better make the most of it.”

And as he quoted from Christina Rosetti, “Remember”

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay

And yeah, I should understand the reason behind people’s behaviour and to add, I must think positive for this is only one lifetime. So the unimportant episode I wrote before this post is really nothing. I understand the inconsistency of it all.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Who's irresponsible?

Who's irresponsible, tell me?

Am I irresponsible for writing about what you asked and discussed about a sensitive issue? Am I irresponsible for having the courage to question your thinking about this issue, not on your face but on my own forum?

Or is it you who's irresponsible for discussing things that's not related to what you're assigned to relay?

Am I that irresponsible to be given that assessment by you? Or is it you who's irresponsible for being subjective?

Well, I believe that if a student greets a former teacher in a setting outside of the classroom setting, it just proves that the teacher is well loved, positive or is an interesting person. But if that student refuses to recognize that teacher just proves that something happened in the relationship and or that teacher is not that stimulating in the classroom.

It is still clear on my memory how such a former student of yours never ever gave a minute of her time in being with you or even smile at you when we came for a visit. And that made me conclude negatively about you.

And now that you did this to me and my friends, it gives justice to what we thought about you.

So sad, so sad.....